Thoughts on the Maiden, Mother, Crone Cycle

As I approached the checkout, she fanned her face and took a swig of water from her bottle. Her face was flushed, and she might have been in her fifties, and I wondered…is she having a menopausal hot flush?

The checkout lady two registers across called out “you okay (name)?” before my trolley reached the conveyer belt and although she replied that she was, I still asked “how are you?” when she greeted me. “Good thanks!” was her reply and maybe she was, but I wanted to blurt out “are you going through menopause?! I’ve just started my perimenopause, and I get hot flushes too!! They wake me up at night! I’m a woman, I understand!” but I just smiled and got on with my shopping.

She might not have been in her fifties, or she might have been much older. I didn’t want to assume. It wasn’t my business. But I desperately wanted to connect as a woman. I wanted to nod and say “mmmm” and dissolve a bit more of the stigma, or the taboo of the next stage of metamorphosis in a woman’s life. I wanted to listen and learn and be a part of the circle of women that I am slowly entering. A circle that I will very much be a part of over the next decade. And then I will enter an even lesser-known circle of women…the crones. The wise women. The ones who have transformed many times over their lives and have the wisdom of age.

I think back to my first period, my first pregnancy, my first hot flush and feel so proud of the emergence of who I am. The growth of ‘me.’ The aching, the mellowing, the turmoil, the elation, stretching of wings, transforming, understanding, steadfastness. I feel steadfast. I have come a long way.

Maiden. Mother. Crone. Cycles within cycles. Seasons within seasons.

As I wheeled my trolley away from the checkout, we parted ways, but my thoughts lingered a bit longer, wishing I could have connected. Wondering why I was so called to connect. I think about women in my life, crones who I have come across, and I wonder why I am drawn to them and want to sit with them, talk with them, be hugged by them. I imagine when I’m past my menopause and wonder what I might be like. I see women with long grey hair, wearing natural linens and knits and still accessorising with their own flair. I see beautiful women. I see women planting gardens and loving their grandkids and working in their studios. I tuck away little snippets in my mind and look forward to my time. My season. My cycle.

It’s all starting to make sense to me now. The circles of life. I hadn’t really thought much about ‘women circles’ before, but now that I’m a mother entering perimenopause, I crave to teach younger women the things that I’ve had to learn the hard way and I crave to learn from crones, what they have learnt in their years on earth.

Whether she had hot flushes or not, she made me think about my life and my purpose.  She made me want to reach out to other women and she made me think more seriously about the importance of women supporting women, of all ages.

I want to write more about growth in different stages of a woman’s life and I’ll explore this in poetic form soon. Please stay tuned for what is to come!

Please leave a comment below! I'm just a mama starting out on her writing journey and appreciate your support so much.

Jessi x